On Father’s Day, we went out to Central Park on the stroller-friendly Upper West Side, somewhat unsure of the reception we’d get. Would families out celebrating in the sun welcome us or not?
When someone from this family approached us, we thought for sure they were going to ask us to cover up or move. But no: they just wanted to know if we’d take a picture of them with their phone. We were glad to oblige.
A bit later, a police car rolled to a stop not far from us, and two officers climbed out. We thought for sure they were going to come over and tell us they’d gotten complaints. But no: the officers walked over to a group some distance away, and from the gestures that ensued we realized they were explaining to the group that we had every right to be doing what we were doing. Then the police officers got back in their car and drove away.
Preconceived notions.
That a family would be more likely to reject us than embrace us; that the police would be more likely to hassle us than defend us. Both turned out to be false.
What’s another preconceived notion? That women don’t have the same freedom to go shirtless in a public place that men do, simply because of the chromosomes swimming around our bodies.
Preconceived notions aren’t always false. But they can be. And you should always challenge yours.
The next holiday on the calendar is the Fourth of July — a fine occasion to challenge your preconceptions, while declaring your independence from vexatious clothing, from gender stereotypes, from body shame.
Won’t you join us? All it takes is an email, to toplesspulpfiction@gmail.com.
If you’re brave enough to expose your front, we’ve got your back.
(P.S. If you’re not sure you’re brave enough, you can always do what this member did:
There’s a way for everyone.)
Do you guys allow men to your events? I’m not a horny jerk, just a guy who enjoys being nude sometimes and reading.
Yes and no. We are a co-ed group, as our name suggests; but it’s primarily a women’s group, and deliberately so, since this is primarily a women’s issue, and we take care to make sure that the woman-to-man ratio at any of our events is something in the neighborhood of ten to one. This means, generally, only one or two men at any given event, and usually only men we already know well and trust to behave well — the boyfriend or husband of one of our female members, perhaps, or a longtime friend of the group, rather than a man who contacted us over the internet. Which isn’t to say that men who contact us over the internet might not be great people! I’m sure some are, and that probably includes you. But some aren’t, and figuring out which is which would be difficult and potentially painful. Besides, if we did open the floodgates to random men who contacted us online, our next event would be ten women and a hundred men, then zero women and a hundred men, then zero women and zero men. So we plan to keep doing things the way we have been. But if you do enjoy reading nude, we hope you find opportunities to do so, and if our blog helps inspire you, we’re delighted. 🙂
“Preconceived notions aren’t always false. But they can be. And you should always challenge yours.”
Amazing things can happen when you challenge your preconceived notions. But challenging all of them would be exhausting and debilitating. Are chairs for sitting in or doing head stands on? Is my wallet for keeping money in or for collecting bottle caps? Every time, I put my phone in my purse should I challenge which compartment is the best fit for it?
So be gentle with yourself. The key is to figure out which preconceptions are important to challenge and which ones you can cruise with. Is it hurting someone? Challenge it. It can be hard to notice sometimes but if you practice empathy, you can learn to see the pain in others. Would challenging a particular preconceived notion provide a benefit? If so challenge it. Again it is a bit of an art to do that. Elon Musk seems to be a natural at that art. Rockets aren’t reusable. Challenged. Electric Cars can’t be cool. Challenged. Solar Panels are specialty items that can’t be mass produced. Challenged. But how do you tell the ones that will really benefit the world from the preconceptions that will end up being right. Hard to do. Worth trying. But hard to do.
And then when you do find one that makes sense to question, it is still exhausting sometimes because you have to explain yourself so many times. I am a cis-male heterosexual who caries a purse. Why? Because its a convenient way to keep track of all those things. But how many times do I have to explain that I don’t care if you think it makes me look gay. In fact, I am glad to confuse your gaydar because, if you care so much about my looking gay then you are probably at least a little homophobic and reducing your ability to detect homosexuals might just be a good thing.
So , yes challenging preconceptions is a good thing. But too much of anything, no matter how good has its cost. Exhaustion, frustration. So glad the Society is finding that, on this front in NYC at least, the exhausting part is coming to an end. Time to go relax in a park dressed comfortably!
I, too, am a purse-carrying, cis-male heterosexual. I get tired of people making themselves comfortable with my carrying a purse by renaming it a murse or a satchel. Cheers. –Griff
I still think it would be interesting at the reception you’d get at a public pool or at a sporting event.
For the past two summers, we’ve gone to the rooftop pool at the Dream Hotel, which isn’t exactly a public pool, but it’s semi-public. We’ve enjoyed that a lot. We might try a public pool sometime, but would need to find a nice one and figure out the best way to arrange it.
Sporting events are generally held on private property, so like a visit to a restaurant or theater, we could only attend topless with the permission of the owners.
At my grand old age (63) I’ve found that preconceived notions not only can be, but invariably are, false. We’re having a tough time in the UK right now following the Brexit vote, and a lot of preconceived notions are flying around and leading to some really disturbing behaviour – on both sides of the argument. So yes, challenge your PNs every day and the world might become a better place. Especially when it’s liberated from vexatious clothing!
Great way to celebrate Fathers Day. Have a safe 4fh of July. Love you guys. THE WISE ONE
awesome post!! You rock!!!